Shaming 2

"Shame on you!" " You should be ashamed of yourself!"
I think these phrases should be eliminated from all Christian parents vocabulary. The motivation for good righteous behavior is love not guilt. The work of shame is a work of the Holy Spirit and is an internal work, individual to each person. Making ourself some one elses spiritual compass only solves the current behavior problem(if even that) We need to guide their choices by reward or negative consequences while building a relationship of mutual respect. This respect is what will hold their compass steady when their world is rocked by the teen age years.