Parenting by Default

I have always felt that being a present and centered parent is my first job. Whatever it took to be there and not psycho (meds, mother’s day out, naps, even a dirty house or a maid) was what was required of me. As an educated career woman I made the conscious decision to be a stay-at–home mom. Although, I rarely just stayed home, I always knew that keeping a spotless house and/or great meals was not my priority.
I fear that many moms who don’t work outside the home feel pressured to make up for the loss of income by overdoing things in the domestic department, to the detriment of the kids. Volunteering at church or school and making sure all is in order should always take a back seat to communicating worth and values to the little ones under your care. The neglect in nutrition or clothing is far less common and has shorter term effects than neglecting to value and enjoy these precious ones while they are young and desperately need you to value them. “Value time” is far harder than “quality time” and way more taxing than gifts to give. But is also holds greater rewards for both the parent and the child. I know that I am a better person because of the inspiration I have received from my children. I also have the priceless knowledge that I have no regrets for the time I have invested in them. Though, dirty dishes waited till the next day and laundry has piled up to everyone’s despair, I would not take back a moment of the value time I have spent to do more chores. I hope all of you spent more “value time” this summer with all who you love.

The Royal Henderson's attended Scarborough Faire in Waxahatchie this Memorial Day Weekend, in honor of King Richard's coming birthday. Prints wouldn't load. So that will have to come later. We met many a sad soul who apparently finds joy in pretending to be a lady or lord for a weekend... Someday some will be royalty forever, others wont. I truly desire to help them to all become part of the royal family.

Inverlochy

A little over a year ago Princess Cossette and I roamed here...
AS I go back over my pictures for the websight for my upcoming book release, I wanted to share a little Scotish Highland beauty. The remains of Castle Inverlochy, on the side of a small country road just outside Ft William. It is open to climb on and explore at leisure. Which we did!! More pics of our journey to come...

Wisdom from above?

Things spoken to my spirit, wisdom from above, in these times
1. "Keep your precious things precious" meaning my kids.
Is. 43:4
"Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life."
2. "It's not about you"
Duet 9:6
"Understand, then, that it is not because of your righteousness that the Lord your God is giving you this good land to possess, for you are a stiff-necked people. "
3. "No unholy Alliances"

2 Corinthians 6:14-17
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?
What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."
"Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you."
4. "It's all about Integrity"
1Ch 29:17
I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity. All these things have I given willingly and with honest intent.

Shaming 2

"Shame on you!" " You should be ashamed of yourself!"
I think these phrases should be eliminated from all Christian parents vocabulary. The motivation for good righteous behavior is love not guilt. The work of shame is a work of the Holy Spirit and is an internal work, individual to each person. Making ourself some one elses spiritual compass only solves the current behavior problem(if even that) We need to guide their choices by reward or negative consequences while building a relationship of mutual respect. This respect is what will hold their compass steady when their world is rocked by the teen age years.

Shaming

Shame is a godly motivator. A virtuous life shames the ungodly, providing a context for evangelism (Titus 2:8; 1 Peter 3:16). A believer's shame for past sin is a spur to forsake sinning (Rom 6:21), to renounce disobedience (2 Thess 3:14)(Baker's Evangelical Dictionaryof Biblical Theology )
The shame we feel from our own guilt and shortcomings leads us to becoming more like Christ.
But... What about
"v. shamed, shaming
To cause to feel shame; put to shame.
To bring dishonor or disgrace on
Synonyms:
abhorrence, anathema, aversion, bother, curse, detestation, disgust, evil, hate, hatred, horror, loathing, nuisance, plague, repugnance, repulsion, revulsion, shame, torment, wickedness"
Source:
Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.2.1)Copyright © 2006 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
This verb that talks about how we effect others or try to put shame on them is the one that has caused me the most difficulty. I others I suspect

Strong 2627
kataqemativzw
Transliterated Word
Kataischuno
kat-ahee-skhoo'-no
Verb
Definition
to dishonour, disgrace
to put to shame, make ashamed
to be ashamed, blush with shame
one is said to be put to shame who suffers a repulse, or whom some hope has deceived
The KJV New Testament Greek Lexicon
This is used mostly in the New Testament to tell us what not be ashamed of, like Christ.
So why do we judge so much and shame others when they don't live up to our expections of what a "Christian is supposed to be"? ...

Shame

I have been thinking about how we as parents use shame to discipline. Or maybe more of how shame has been inappropriately used by parents and in the church. The bible has 22 words that have been translated into the word shame or ashamed. But only a few connote what I am talking about. We all know that shame is part of God given conscience to help bring us to sorrow for our sin and then repent. I am not talking about this type of beneficial shame. But the one that is meant to cause the feeling of unworthiness as in this definition:
shame n.
1. A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace.
2. Capacity for such a feeling: Have you no shame?
3 .One that brings dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation.
4. A condition of disgrace or dishonor; ignominy.
5. A great disappointment.
Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.2.1)Copyright © 2006 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
I have fought this feeling my whole life, real or imagined... Where does it come from?.. More later.

Almost there

I signed March 10th 2005, my 38th birthday to write my first book. I am only a few months to my goal. That is my inspiration beside me, the real Princess Cossette

Four Things

Four things you might not know about me
Four jobs you have had in your life:1. mom2. shoe sales3. Youth director4. Marriage CounselorFour movies you would watch over and over:1. The Princess Bride2. Chronicles of Narnia3. Lord of the Rings4. Maddy TV
Four places you have lived:1. Lubbock, Tx2. Lexington Ky3. El Paso, Texas4. Abilene, Tx
Four TV shows you love to watch:1. The Bachelor2. Dancing with the Stars3. American Idol4. Supernanny!!! (probably the one I need most, ha)
Four places you have been on vacation:1. O.C. California2. Paris, France3. Orlando, Florida4. Philadelphia, Penn.
Four websites I visit daily:1. My email
2. Askjeeves.com 3. Crosswalk.com (bible searches)4. my Blog
Four of my favorite foods: (not necessarily in that order)1. Orange Chicken Rich makes for me2. Pancakes on Sat morning.3. Beef Burgundy or Stroganoff4. Great Filet Mignon
Four places I would rather be right now:1. French Alps2. Hot tub.3. Praying and Prophesying to missionaries anywhere 4. Observing my kids interact with their friends without them seeing me. (I peeked in the nursery at church esp if they had 2 way mirrors)
Four things I always carry with me1. Cell Phone 2. Debit card or cash (in purse)3. Coffee4. Journal in book bag with small bible and dream book

The gown

The gown The blurb on the back of my book, to be published late Summer '06.
“She had wanted so to stay pretty and clean, to not rip her gown. This is the one that her grandmother made for her to wear when she came to visit. Grandfather always called her princess when she wore it, and that is how she felt.
She startles as a hot breath blows from the depths of the cavern, sensing it is inhabited by evil. It extinguishes her small candle. Now she is alone in the deep darkness, afraid for more than her life. She was afraid for her soul.”
The nightmare had plagues her all her life. But the birth of a little princess brought Gwendolyn to the realization that there were some issues in her past she must confront, especially if she wants to protect her daughter from the dark journey into the Cavern Deprovere.
Join our heroin as she seeks out the King on High and goes on a quest to redeem her family from a generational curse.
Come here for more soon!!!!

wash their feet

I'm preparing to publish my first book. My testimony in Allegory form. The Gown and Allegory by Debra Henderson. It is a story of young girl who became a queen in spite of her struggles. And how her daughter, Princess Cossette inspires her to go on a quest.
I am at home mother of 3 children and they have all inspired me to be a better parent. This blog is to share some of the things that have made this difficult, tiring and sometimes impossible job more fun and a blessing.

May 16, 2206
Jesus told me to wash their feet.

When the kids were little and I wanted to do a little toe nail trimming or get them take a bath, I came up with the idea to declare “Spa treatment” They would jump right in to a nice warm baffy, suds up and let me trim their toe nails, wash and style their hair and do it with great joy and giggles. They came out feeling special and loved. I came off looking like a great mom. I got what I wanted “clean kids” without having to nag and threaten. And all it took was a little imagination, a few choice words and some creative use of drug store bought items.

bubble bath, bath oil, bath fizzer, “mermaid water”
Fun shampoo
fun soap
body scrub, mask or sea salt for foot spa
fun lotion
finish with a message, drawing on the back and a blessing