Dates with Daddy

Dates with Daddy

It started a few years back, after my dad, in his
early 60’s became disabled after a motorcycle
accident. He was in the hospital and rehab for a good
part of a whole year. But when he got better, his life
was completely changed. My mom was still working and
he had many days he was, ‘in town’ for Dr appointments
and whatnot by himself. I was in my “full-time mom”
stage and he called me at least once a week to meet
him for lunch. He’s always been a social person and to
him, having lunch out alone was the ultimate waste. We
met at salad bars, café and diner’s., exploring the
local landscape of mid-priced eating establishments.
What a treat for a man who spent most of his life on
the farm, 20 miles from even the closed fast food. He
was like a kid in a candy store. We spent a great deal
of our time chatting about the kids or other personal
issues. The conversations aren’t as important as the
fellowship.
Over the next five years many things changed but our
dates remained a constant. My parents moved to town,
my mom retired. Dad was diagnosed with diabetes.
Through poor health, strokes and blindness, the dates
didn’t change. This last Christmas, I decided to make
an official commitment, an intentional effort to spend
time alone with my dad. Every Friday, rain or shine,
we go out. We do whatever he wants, usually estate
sales, then we go out to eat.
This doesn’t seem much like an incredible story
unless you know our history. We are not a typical
father and daughter. He was an abusive father and I
was his disappointment of a teen. The interactions we
had in those turbulent years would not lead you to
believe we could have this kind of relationship now.
Some how he sees me differently now, maybe I am
different, less sensitive, less confrontational… But
he is also more accepting and less critical. We have
many comments from onlookers and wait staff. “It’s so
sweet of you to be here with your dad.” Sweet wasn’t
the word, it was more like a miracle, miracle of
grace and forgiveness.