Her Dormant season

Reaching the waters edge, she looked out upon the frozen surface. In the still frigid air this pristine world seemed lifeless. But she knew it only appeared that way. Under the ice, life carried on. A frozen, almost motionless shell that actually protects the vigor beneath. She knew life was never truly gone. Frozen, preserved, pressed down beneath, it was hidden for a season.
She breathed in the cold air and looked around. Frozen can actually be beautiful. The crystalline encasement of every minute detail. Leaves and branches, every grass blade magnified, like a thousand jewels sparkling beneath her feet. Hanging from every tree, crystal chandeliers. More rare than swavorsky crystals, theses jewels would soon be gone. Precious, delicate and then, a memory.
Looking down again to the lake, there stands a leaf upon the glassy surface, caught in a moment of vertical movement. Take warning, for the leaf scarcely knew this action would be the one preserved.
But what of the life below? Some dormant, some vigorous, no reproduction, but still life survives. Do they curse the cold or accept this season as part of life?
How much light passed through to remind them of a warmer season to come? At places on the pond seems almost translucent. Does the life below gather and jockey for a place to peer out the window? Do they even care what goes on above?
Delores laughs at herself, pondering such foolish things. But this did give her hope. Maybe her cold dormant season would soon be over. Only four more years and she would be old enough to marry without her parents permission.

Grace and Peace to you

Grace
I have known just of few women if my life who have been the true essence of grace to me. Woman who carry and express themselves in such a way that you are drawn to them in a mysterious nonsexual attraction. I have truly desired to exude this grace. I have prayed for it, looked for it, even studied it. Soon turning 40 and still believing it has eluded me, I have all but given up the pursuit. When, out of the blue, I was surprised my a compliment that totally stunned me.
"Well, you just have that kind of grace." was her comment.
"What?" I replied in shock, "I have prayed for grace, but I’ve decide it wasn’t a gift God wanted to give me."
"Well you have it." was her simple reply.
In my word study on Grace, the Old Testament word Strong # 2580 represents the classical Christian concept of the unmerited favor of God but also the concept from an objective point of view of beauty, pleasant and precious. It comes from the root word Strong’s #2306 -"to bend or stoop in kindness to an inferior or a gracious act to someone in need" That is the kind of grace I want to exude, and encourage in my daughter.
Many times in the bible God changed the names of the people He moved in. My character I have been blogging about, Delores (a.k.a. brought forth in pain) Will be changed to Grace.

Christian Writer's Guild

The convention at the Broadmoore in Colorado Springs was great. I learned a lot, met some really nice people, got a break from work and got some article assignments from Christian magazine editors. More to come on that last one as soon as I move forward on this writer's journey. Liz Curtis Higgs, the keynote speaker was very funny, real and inspiring. She is definately the kind of speaker I aspire to be like. Blessings to you all. Here is Jerry B Jenkins, the head of the guild and co-author of The Left Behind books. Click on the title and you can check out the guild. Definately a good route to follow writing dreams.

Curmudgeon

There is an old story my dad used to tell me about a cantankerous old coot who was never pleased. Every morning he woke up complaining. The sky was too bright, the sun too sunny. There was too much to do, not enough time. But mostly the industrious efforts of his jolly wife that seem to inspire the curmudgeon comments. She must have been sincerely convinced that if she truly gave him nothing to complain about, he would eventually praise her. She daily went about her work, with a song on her lips and chewing gum in her mouth.
The day early in their marriage when she felt she had come the closest was a morning when the coffee smelled exceptionally good. The day promised to be a beautiful one. All the hard preparation of planting had been done, the garden was in full bloom from the recent quenching spring rains and there were only a few chores to be done around the house that day. She was hoping that later they may even be able to take a drive.
As her man sat down at the breakfast table, she joyfully place in front of him his favorite breakfast, two eggs- one pouched and one fried. She stood and waited beside him after she poured his coffee, added sugar and stirred in the fresh cream. Would he smile?
He took a drink of the fresh squeezed home grown orange juice she so painstakingly had strained to make sure there were no seeds or large chunks of pulp which he hated. He began to eat his eggs with a grunt, glancing over his shoulder annoyed at her hovering. She scurried back to the stove to replace the coffee and looked on expectantly from a distance. As he mopped up the last of the perfectly cooked over medium egg yokes with the freshly baked biscuits she rose early to bake. There was a pause as she moved slowly closer to hear his report...
“Well, how was it?” She asked
While pushing back from the table, all he could think to say was,
“You poached the wrong damn egg!"

Feeding the pigs

The cold brittle cracking sound below her feet echoed the feeling in her heart. The twice daily treks out to break the ice in the feeding trough is a necessary nuisance on the in cold winter months on a cotton farm in the Panhandle of Texas. There seems to be a lot of those nuisances. Much of a farm wife’s life was filled with them. It’s not the stupid livestock’s fault that the weather is so cold. They don’t seem to mind that much anyway, guess they are used to it. She feels like that often, a nuisance that must be taken care of, basic needs met. She wont stay and pet them, even pigs like to be engaged, but they do need to eat and drink. Starving them would be unconscionable but hurling a few curse words and a whack on the back did help her get out the annoyance their upkeep causes her.
Once outside and accustomed to the cold, she used this alone time as she did much of her time, to slip off into her fantasy world. Her dreams of world travel often involved missionary work with possibly a whisper of lost or neglected love. They would long for and desire her but she would always be drawn away, like a romantic young characters in classic novels. Her devotion to the work of the Lord would always take her away. Morning and night and increasingly more in the day she would slip off into this world. Books were her loyal companions She was the stoic heroine , such as Jane Eyre.. Admired for her intelligent and strong character. Practicing her melancholy sighs and far away stares, wherever she imagined to be, it was far more interesting than being the unloved daughter of a dirt farmer in West Texas.
The cold had long since quit affecting her limbs, for once numb she found it much easier to stay that way, at leaste that is what she has convinced herself. That is the way she has lived her emotional life ever since the night she let herself believe the truth. She is the "not" in her family..."not his favorite daughter, not even close" She is not open, not loving and not affectionate. And definitely not her father’s idea of what a woman should be like. All words she had heard from his own lips. She did not let him know that it hurt her but if her own father felt that way about her, there would be no need to knock on that door for any sort of approval any more.
SLAM!! The door of the barn banged shut, and Sophia spun around to she what had caused it. Just the wind. She went over and bolted it closed. If it was left flapping in the high wind for long, the hinges would break off. Disturbed from her muse she remembers it is time to catch the bus to school. She could resume her fantasies there. But now she must grab her books and run out to the farm to market road that ran in front of their drive way, about 100 yards away.

For those disturbed by my blog

Just want to let anyone concerned know that the last blog "Secrets and Lies" and some others past, and many future writings are fictional musings in preparation for my next literary work, possibly "Historical Fiction" I am meeting with editors next week to test for marketability with various publishers. Sorry if this caused any stress.

Secrets and lies

Secrets and lies, they grow upon each other, even after years, lifetimes and even generations, the curse of incest held all in it’s lair. The wretched truth was something she believed mothers and grand-mothers must had known all along. Accomplices to this unspeakable crime, they were afraid of acknowledging the truth for it would make them part of the sin, the rape of their daughter’s innocense. Brought bluntly to their attention, shocked they would deny and turn away choosing only to protect the thin veil of dignity they used to cover their shame for the lack of bravery they had in their youth to confront their aggressors and put and end to the abusive cycle.

Be sure your sins will find you out. And what about the moments when he was alone? Was it self-righteousness or shame that led him to stare blankly into nothingness and wonder why he lingered here? For 20 years past his desire to depart he hovered between a living and passing on. Was he just reaping what he sowed? He never showed me any signs of regret or repentance. There were not death bed confessions, tears of remorse, just blank stares or steely glares. His wide-eyed quavering gaze had a fearful feel to it, as if he was about to blurt out, “You know my deep secret. You will be the one who brings down my gingerbread house of self righteousness.
Sympathetic visitors were bluntly confronted with the request to help him end his suffering. Their pity and well wishes meant nothing if they would not help him die. It was never about anyone else, not even his hardworking spouse of 60 some odd years. She had labored to please him, enduring countless indignities at his hand and now she has nothing left, not even her mind, only a frozen sardonic expression of shock and defiance.
Back to the secret, it, of course was the sexual abuse I endured at my father, grand-father and even uncles hands. But the lies were more hurtful. The primary one being that women must choose. They cannot embody strength and beauty, feminine grace and wisdom. They must either be desirable or smart, not both. I chose smart, not realizing that before I had a chance to choose beauty chose me.

Parental consent

Here is the form to fill out to become a part of our New Girl's Club.
Just click on the title and it will open a Acrobat reader page, print, fill out, mail.
We will have once a month meeting til summer and then we want to plan a 3-5 day daycamp with lots of fun Victorian activities. Call me at 771-6987 or come by the Gathering Place for more info. Blesssings, deb

Pray for Wesley's Heart

I just wanted to inform all those who have not heard, Wesley was diagnosed with a heart murmur last year. When we saw the pediatric cardiologist, he found 2 murmurs. We have his one year check up last Thur. It seems his condition has progressed. He wants us to put him on high blood pressure meds. We decided to seek a second opinion. We will update you as soon as we figure out, when where and who.

Plugged In Online

Here is the websight I have recogmended to help you decide if a movie is appropriate for your family. Plugged In Online
http://pluggedinonline.com

Why talk about it?

I know I may need to go back to some dark places to find a new way out...

Super Family

A fun dinner time discussion went something like this:

My children decided, after watching "The Incredibles" that we are also a family of Super Heroes.
I even told a lady in the bathroom at the movie that our costumes were Medieval, since we like to go to Renaissance festivals . She only gave me a wary smile and walked away.
Today at the breakfast table we decided on our super identities. My daughter was the instigator, while wearing a sparkle shirt which said "Daddy’s Girl" is now ‘DADDY’S SUPER GIRL’. Her brother, whose quote of the century is,
"Here it comes...(flaaaaaarrrppp!) That felt goood."
Well, we’ll just say that passing gas is his unique talent. As a family we decided a while back that we do not believe in killing, so we have always found ways to turn cops in robbers into to a fun chase that leaves the offenders incapacitated for a time just long enough to call 911. Then we send them to jail, to receive their just reward. Brother’s "gas" is just the thing to accomplish that.
Daddy has the manly ability to belch a whole is things. It was a little harder for everyone to agree on an appropriate persona for Mommy. I first suggested that I be "Super Spender" to which daddy replied, "Yeah." But "Daddy’s Super Girl" aptly asked, "What can you do?"
"I spend a lot of money, of course" I said with great pride
"Thats’s not helpful." she replied wryly
"That’s what Daddy thinks." I said, with my characteristically boisterous and explosive laugh.
The shocked look on peoples faces and the tendency for Daddy’s Super Girl to plug her ears made me decide that this is it. A truly God-given skill I possess, and something that, I’m proud to say has made it on several "Things I like about my mom" lists. I have laugh so unfettered that I have even had to apologize for it. It tends to garner unwanted public attention from adjacent diners,( which my husband HATES.)
"Sonic Laugh!!" I exclaimed, which brought a chorus "Yeahs"

A Cluttered mother's vindication

"Studies are piling up that show that messy desks are the vivid signatures of people with creative, limber minds (who reap higher salaries than those with neat “office landscapes”) and that messy closet owners are probably better parents and nicer and cooler than their tidier counterparts."
This quote is copied and paste from an article in the New York Times called "Saying Yes to Mess". I found it... encouraging or at leaste satisfying to know that others justify our disorder as well as I do.
Check it out at, http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/21/garden/21mess.html?em&ex=1166936400&en=00238cd5e983e54a&ei=5087%0A

Free gift for you

First Amazon review

Stopping an Evil Cycle, December 20, 2006
Reviewer:
D. R. Sudduth - Knowing up front that this story was an allegory greatly buffeted my ability to enjoy it. While not an arduous read, this book will best be read several times. The lessons are that important. All of us have faults and imperfections we would like to have swept under the rug. Maybe bringing these faults to light and learning from them is the best way to stop future generations from suffering the same fate. Perhaps since many have their own tattered gowns, this story will be uplifting. Ms. Henderson shows us that we should not forgive and forget, but forgive, heal, educate and prevent.

Finally someone actually wrote review for me on my book at the Amazon websight. Please join him, good or bad any comments help.

Gathering

The Gathering Place had the inaugural Tea Event- a Mother/Daughter Blessing Tea on Saturday, Dec 16th. I planned for 24 but in the final count, 2 seatings totaling 12 was more than busy enough. There were many laughs, a few flying tea sandwiches, and even a squirting cream puff, but the tears of love and joy were the most telling sign that the event was a success. The turkey tea sanwiches and orange scones offered up by Bobo Cuisine and the Peach Tea from Brownlow were the favorites. I hope that all who came were as blessed as I was. Thank you for all your patience and time.

KJV New Testament Greek Lexicon
1. Strong's Number: 1997

Parts of Speech
ep-ee-soon-ag-o-gay'
Noun Feminine
Definition
1.
a gathering together in one place
2.
the (religious) assembly (of Christians)


Hebrews 10:19-25
19 Having therefore, brethren, boldness
1. F33 to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus, 20 By a new and living way, which he hath consecrated F34 for us, through the veil, that is to say, his flesh; 21 And having an high priest over the house of God; 22 Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) 24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: 25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. 26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, 27 But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.


Jamieson, Fausset, Brown, Commentary
25. assembling of ourselves together--The Greek, "episunagoge," is only found here and
2 Thessalonians 2:1 (the gathering together of the elect to Christ at His coming, Matthew 24:31). The assembling or gathering of ourselves for Christian communion in private and public, is an earnest of our being gathered together to Him at His appearing. Union is strength; continual assemblings together beget and foster love, and give good opportunities for "provoking to good works," by "exhorting one another" (Hebrews 3:13). IGNATIUS says, "When ye frequently, and in numbers meet together, the powers of Satan are overthrown, and his mischief is neutralized by your likemindedness in the faith."

Moloch

I have been studying about the Amorite God known as "The god of unnatural cruelty" People were reported to have sacrificed their infants in fire to him and committed the older ones to his service by making them pass through the fire. Wow, how unfelling those parents had to be...or at leaste deluded. Are we so different? I see many kids who seemed to have been sacrificed to the god of Hedonism, selfishness and self gratification. A father who leaves his wife and 2 boys for a young "entertainer". Children kicked out of the house so they wont mess up the decorations. Parents who wont take their kids to church unless they ask, and not even then.


Moloch in medieval texts. Like some other gods and demons found in the Bible, Moloch appears as part of medieval demonology, as a Prince of Hell. This Moloch finds particular pleasure in making mothers weep; for he specialises in stealing their children. According to some 16th century demonologists Moloch's power is stronger in December.It is likely that motif of stealing children was inspired by the traditional understanding that babies were sacrificed to Moloch.

In modern Hebrew language the expression sacrifice something/someone to the Molech means to give up something valuable or harm someone for an utterly worthless cause.

Sounds a bit like the Forest of Forgotten to me (from The Gown)

Do you have a Vision for God's plan for the ones you Love?

Proverbs 29:18
"Where there is no vision, the people perish; but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." (King James)

"Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; but blessed is he who keeps the law."
Proverbs 29:18 (NIV)
no vision--instruction in God's truth, which was by prophets, through visions, as in 1 Samuel 3:1). People perish--(Compare Margin), are deprived of moral restraints. keepeth the law--has, and observes, instruction (Proverbs 14:11,34, Psalms 19:11).
By Jamieson, Fausset, Brown commentary

I am praying for the vision and the ability to help cast a vision for a generation of moms who seemed to have given up on their responsibility to raise passionate, prepared and purposeful children. Join me in my prayers. deb

My little missionary

I knew my Maddy had the heart of a missionary at a very young age.
Soon after she asked Jesus into her heart, she turned her concerns to her younger brother.
Nathan could not have been more than 2 when Maddy prayed earnestly "Dear Heavenly Father, Come into Nathan's Heart"
I patiently attempted to explain to her that it had to be at Nathan's request.
Jesus would make his home inside a person's heart only when he is asked by that person.
This did not daunt her in her quest to save her brother's young soul from the flames of eternal hell.
She turned purposefully to her brother and commanded "NATHAN, say 'Jesus, come into my heart!'"
Nathan, involved in some intense play, just ignored her...

Secrets Revealed

I believe that what happened with Ted Haggard, all the "predators" caught on TV and My Space and every other "Secret" sin will be revealed as early as by the end of the year. As a watchman on the wall I am obligated to warn, every secret place, hidden sin, stolen item, deceptive action or hypocritical comment is a seed sown and the season harvest is coming soon. "God will not be mocked" You will reap what you have sowed! The seeds are almost full grown now and the reaping will be with weeping. Many kingdoms will fall, many households devastated, fortunes lost... But there is still time. If your come clean now, you can remove the power of the secret. It will still be a bad thing, but it will not have the punch and power to ruin your life that it will if you wait till someone else reveals it. Walk back into the daylight, it may be bright and sting your eyes for a while, but it is also warm and happy and free.